Sunday, March 23, 2008



Before any trust can rebuild you must address how and or why it was broken in the first place. This is the time for brutal honesty. A complete confessional of how the trust was broken should only be done when you are both ready to hear it. Anyway there will be a massive amount of stress on relationship once the trust has been broken by lies or breaking promises.

Being lied to by someone you love and felt you could trust is very painful and frustrating. You love your partner, so you find yourself forgiving his/her lies the first time, perhaps the second and third time as well, before you realized you are just involved with a liar. However, because you feel strongly for this person, it is not easy for you to break away, even though you know that is probably what is best for you. You hang on, with hope that things will change and he will not lie to you anymore. You justify staying with him by telling yourself that he is a good person and deep down you know he loves you and that your relationship is wonderful and perfect except when he lies.
THEY'RE STILL TOGETHER FOR A COUPLE OF DECADES (she got secret but not lies, or ain't it?) BUANG JUD KO NO?

What you need to ask yourself when this happens is: Do you consider a wonderful relationship in which your partner lies to you? Is being lied to by a liar your idea of love and respect? When you are emotionally involved with someone, it is not always easy to ask and answer these logical questions. You often will make excuses for a liar, just to make yourself feel better about staying with someone who does not truly respect you. When your partner lies to you, it is because he does not respect you and is not as committed to the relationship as you would like to believe. Of course, there are different kinds of lies- little ones and big ones, but a lie is still a lie, no matter the size or reason for the lie. Look at it like this: if your partner can lie so easily over little things that are unnecessary to lie about, then you can be pretty sure that he/she will lie to you about bigger things that will really matter and damage the relationship.

I guess everyone makes mistake. Just learn how to fix it, also how u going to face the problem. Does he meant to do it or not?! I just consider...
Forgive is good ideal, for both side! Get back or not just another question.

FORGIVE, FORGIVE & FORGET as long as there is still love.... as long as there is the tiniest bit of feeling left. There is enough to rebuild from the ground up, and to form a solid relationship with each other. The biggest portion of love is deep within the heart and will take a very long time to surface to let go.

Do you agree GUYS? Help me w/ some thoughts regarding the post...


Vita Änglar said...

I am writing in english because you were:-)
I live in Singapore since december -06.
And I have my blog Vita Änglar, you are welcome to have a look.

Have a great Monday!

Pikiteniang Swefil said...


Jo, jag förstår svenska med men kul att se och höra att du kom förbi hos mig.

VAD? vad avundis jag blev att få veta att du i SG. Jag brukar komma i SG eftersom vi har ett kontor där.

Kolla min svenskblog i denna länk:

Anonymous said...

Nice thoughts but doesn't matter if you lied sometimes. Better do it than shout out and then ruin your relationship.

I had many lies and as long you're careful and be sure no one get hurts then "LIE" is a good way for the adrenaline kick.

It depends to oneself if they dare. Go for it.

Swefil, you're a good writer and good taste of subjects. It always hit everybody concern. Hope many read your blog.

Job well done.


Pikiteniang Swefil said..., lies is good, eh?

Partly, i agree w/ u but surely, no one get hurts.

Amazingly, adrenaline kick, *lol
Hmmm...guess, YES, agree *wink

Hope someone special read this post for me.

Thanks for dropping by.


M. said...

Thanks so much for passing by on my blog and for your nice comment some time ago! Do I understand well that you're from the Phillipines but you live in Sweden now? It must be a big change for you I suppose, either concerning the language and the customs as well as concerning the foreign mentality. But I think you live an interesting story.
Well, I entirely agree with you about lies: partners never should tell lies as it breaks confidence/trust. But there might be a difference between 'half a truth' or 'half a lie'! Sometimes we don't talk about something to our partner, but that shouldn't necessarily be considered as a lie. I think the reason or base to consider something as an 'important' lie is a moral bad and wrong behaviour. ('Moral bad' as experienced by our conscience and as customs/laws of religion or society dictate us.) Children tell little lies as well and sometimes it's even quite sweet or funny to listen to them, but I'm sure they should learn to make the difference between good and bad, between truth and lies, between reality and fiction. In my opinion the definition of a 'lie' is also influenced by my faith and believings. My conscience has been sharpened by my religious (catholic) convictions and by my own search for the truth and the ultimate Truth. But other people may think and act differently of course. Maybe another important question is: why does that person lie? For what reason?
It's a very interesting topic and last words haven't been written yet about that subject for sure! I wish you all the best in your life and relationships. I'll come back here.
Love and greetings from Belgium, Marjolijn

Pikiteniang Swefil said...

Hi Marj,

I was browsing on the net & suddenly I found your blogg. It's funny coz i don't understand dutch but you'd translated it in english & that fascinates me.

I used to leave some footprints as long i step-on to other bloggsites, to show respect that I appreciate. It's not really hard to leave just a "Hi" word, isn't it?

Nice thoughts you gave me. Well, we have a different reasons why people lies. I just do hope that sometimes they realize that lying is an evil thing to do, not just to their partners, w/out even to others.

I can't judge them and the only thing i can do is to listen. Am a catholic too and we have the same moral. I do lies too sometimes, but not a heavy lies §:-)

Anyway, thanks a mill by dropping some lines and i do appreciate it much. Am happy that i have a new found friend from Belgium.

DANK ook veel... a grammar prob *LOL*

Hope to see you here or to my swedish blogg.

See Yah