Wednesday, January 16, 2008

INDECISIVE FEELINGS to be 2 sided personality

Pls. *press* link to listen IMMIGRANT SONG by Led Zeppilin he he he...

It's hard to start to write this topic. Maybe many of you readers thinks that this issue is just a "tabboo" as other racists issue.

But, before you jump to your conclusion, i do hope you give me a chance to explain my part. I'm eager to receive both positive or negative feedbacks. Without this, world is in misery (only in my thoughts). + and + won't work so do - and - either, isn't it? + and - are the perfect combination. (D'Nics, your truelly a good support in all I had gone through)

First and for all, i have an asian background. I don't mind being called immigrant coz i am. Living half of my (YOUR)life to a foreign country isn't a game. While going back to where I (you) came from is more complicated. I can tell the real experience coz am doing this now. I feel lost when am in the Philippines and sometime i feel so stranger in the country coz for not living there for so long. Living in Sweden isn't easy either from the start. Language, mentality, people, etc. etc. Everything's different. So, i started a new life in my mid 20's. So far so good. I didn't experience such unpleasant refute, though am different from the crowd. The people think that am so petité, so cute. Funny!

Feeling stranger in your own country isn't a good sign as well as when your in the country your living in. What a culture collision!!! It's not funny! Imagine? One foot stuck to the foreign country and the other side stuck in the origin country. How it feels? AM SPLITTED INTO TWO. not easy indeed! Coping up the UPS and downs! ain't easy either.

In my situation, am so lucky having a very supportive family. Many whom i know have problems with their halves, the social contact and work.

The only thing i can say to the people who's in this situation is that, We have to adjust ourselves in everything and ways. Go out and mingle, show to them that you can handle the life and live in the new country. Be positive in any ways, if you encounter some problems, consult the professionals. Help is everywhere.

I guess, i said too much therefore I will stop being Tita Helen, but it's no wrong reading someone's experience. These can be the solution or maybe help others who really have problem tackling the situation.

See you soonest & have a happy reading! Thanks for having you here.

Monday, January 14, 2008

In Everything WE do, WE need a COMMUNICATION

One important thing in my life is MUSIC. W/out music, i guess life isn't that appealling. Music defines a thousand meanings & specially expresses one's feelings.

Music make my life easier. Awhile ago, i fall to the song of The Cardigans, one of my favourite swedish band.

Communication act & take various manners. It deal in a form of some respects, since they allow people with different views of a topic to learn from each other.

Pls be in mind: Always apply a good communication in your relations, families, friends and strangers to make a better person. Talk & listen, adjust, give feedbacks, accept criticism whether good or bad. These are a good communication.

"COMMUNICATION" *press here*

For 27 years I've been trying
to believe and confide in
different people I found

Some of them got closer than others
some wouldn't even bother
and then you came around

I didn't really know what to call you
you didn't know me at all
but I was happy to explain

I never really knew how to move you
so I tried to intrude through
the little holes in your veines

And I saw you
But that's not an invitation
That's all I get
if this is communication
I disconnect
I've seen you, I know you
but I don't know
how to connect
So I disconnect

You always seemed to know where to find me
And I'm still here behind you
In the corner of your eye

I never really learned how to love you
But I know that I love you
through the hole in the sky
where I see you

And that's not an invitation
That's all I get
if this is communication
I disconnect
I've seen you, I know you
but I don't know
how to connect
So I disconnect

Well, this is an invitation
it's not a threat
if you want communication
that's what you get
I'm talking, and talking
but I don't know how to connect
and I hold the record for being patient
With your kind of hesitation

I need you, you want me, but I don't know
how to connect
So I disconnect
I disconnect...

1st day at work from my Sickleave

Jenny & Moi

Today is the first day at work!!! Looking forward? Hmmm…not really but in a way I missed my tasks. Crazy indeed, but I really love my stressy job, though.

Monica, Karin, Katja & Magnus

After a week, it’s nice to be back too. I was started to get bored at home. Now, am starting to tackle all the problems & hassles. My markets are a bit complicated but doing this thinkable job is a way of exercising your brain cells.

Lucky enough, there’s not much problem solving here today? What a nice & a good new week! Just 2 small disturbances & a little old interest claims, that I will compile (if I fancy the moment). Hmmm ... might be check later.

I do missed my nice colleagues, too! They’re supportive & good team players. Stressy but we enjoying what we're doing.

Christina & Mariya w/ a colleague from another group...

Sunday, January 13, 2008


Well, it's been a couple of weeks since i didn't see you around.

What's bothering? Sickness, well, but you're not dying, eh? Hmmm..u say u "missed me?" U think so? I don't know if I believe that? If you really care for someone special in your heart, you really look for a way to meet her/him. I been so sick too but I gave some time to meet "this" someone special to me, whatever it takes.

Rule's tiring me OUT.. coz it seems your jeopardising me and that am afraid of, soon you'll lose me!

Anyway...i just thank you Leonardo's Brides song, which I often listen.
It eased the feelings of loneliness. It seems this song is my prayer, everytime I miss the person i call "Dark Spice", Soooo much!

who's UR thinking?
Other prays "Our Father" if they're in vain, Me? Why not listen to this song. This is my prayer if my heart is in agony, & frustration of lonesomeness

143 Even when Am Sleeping *press here*
Don't be confused by my apparent lack of ceremony,
My mind is clear.
I may be low or miles high off in the distance,
I want you near.

I love you,
even when I'm sleeping.
When I close my eyes,
you're everywhere.

And if they take me flying on the magic carpet,
see me wave.
If our communication fails I'll re-connect it,
I want to rave.

I love you,
even when I'm sleeping
When I close my eyes,
you're everywhere

No matter where the road is leading us remember,
don't be afraid.
We have a continent that sometimes comes between us,
but that's ok.

I love you,
even when I'm sleeping.
When I close my eyes,
you're everywhere.
When I close my eyes,
you're everywhere.

Don't be afraid, don't be afraid.
Don't be afraid, don't be afraid.
Don't be afraid, don't be afraid.

Ooohhhhh ooohhhh ooohhhh

Take care all you guys outhere and have an enjoyable new week!

HUGS from a lonely lad!


I was whinning a couple days ago coz am sooo stress and felt i didn't do anything. Kanang gud nga hagu ang feelings?
Then, when i had the time to stroll in the city, wander on the cobbled stones on the old town, i found some things that i want to have "URGE" calling.

I can't say no to this things though they're not the "must" ones.

I ended up to the upper part of the city where you can find nice stores. One of my fav stores located in this area. URGE calling again! Here i got!

Hope the Irish Pinay won't get upset when she read this post as she really worrried how i handle my shoppaholic mode. I bought these things, in a way that i like them and basically, need them too.
Sometimes, it feels am just spending or let's see "A BIG SPENDER"? me so! am just doing the things i can content my likes and i fell so contented and happy. So, simple i am! Might think am materialistic. Call me so!


Believe in your heart that
something wonderful is about to happen.
Love your life.
Believe in your own powers,
and your own potential,
and in your own innate goodness.
Wake every morning
with the awe of just being alive.
Discover each day the magnificent,
awesome beauty in the world.
Explore and embrace life in yourself

and in everyone you see each day.
Reach within to find your own specialness.
Amaze yourself and rouse those around you
to the potential of each new day.
Don't be afraid to admit
that you are less than perfect;
this is the essence of your humanity.
Let those who love you help you.
Trust enough to be able to take.
Look with hope to the horizon of today,
for today is all we truly have.
Live this day well.
Let a little sun out as well as in.
Create your own rainbows.
Be open to all your possibilities;
all possibilities and Miracles.